Not only was this the first year in a long time where I haven't seen even one of the movies up for best picture, but it appears being associated with a gay movie is garaunteed gold. My goal for next year is to grab my boy kevin's camera and write up a little script about me being a gay dude who challenges the establishment. I might even set it in Nazi Germany, b/c that only helps my chances and if I go from rags to riches in the process of fighting the Nazis who are opressing, then all the better. The hard part will be getting enough liquid courage to kiss a dude, b/c no kiss no naked statue. On the other hand if I get a chick to play a dude I could maybe get her an Oscar and then technically I wouldn't be kissing a dude. Cate Blanchett was nominated last year for playing Bob Dillon and Million Dollar Baby won her first for being a chic trying to be a dude. Thats even better b/c it would be the first action I would have received in awhile, even if it comes off looking gay on film. Best Director might be hard to achieve on this one but I think I would be a lock for the rest of them. Plus the Academy loves the independent garbage the 99.9% of the world's population can't sit through.
This sounds like a lot of work, so with my xbox coming back this week I might get preoccupied. I can't wait until she shows up at my door and all I have to do is whip it out and plug the right holes, and I will focus on the box until my arms go numb from the vibrations. I just can't wait to turn her on and listen to my baby purr while my fingers fly around pushing all the right buttons, and maybe she'll reward my effort with a sweet sweet achievement.
Monday, February 23, 2009
Monday, February 16, 2009
FML 2
Today I learned at work that one of the other interns proposed to his girlfriend. I bet you can't guess what day he did it on. Even if it was a cliche proposal I say congrats to the fella. I don't know if I would issue a firm wide e-mail announcing it to everyone at 8 o'clock sharp. What cracks me up the most is that he didn't have a picture of her. Many people came over to congratulate him throughout the day, and I swear I heard about 15 times that he didn't have pic when asked. Now if I date a girl for 5 years and had just proposed to her, I think I would have a pic. Not only is this guy younger than me by 2-3 years and engaged but my boss decides to ask me when I might tie the knot. This clearly shows he doesn't know much about me. I tell him probably 2-3 years after I meet my future wife. He says good one, and walks away. FML
Sunday, February 15, 2009
FML
So I went out last night looking for my valentine. When I woke up my mom asked me if I got any numbers last night, I said no. She responded with, "Nobody worth your time, hey." You know it is bad when your mom makes excuses for you. FML
Sunday, February 8, 2009
PhelpsPhan
Mike might hang up the speedo for the '12 olympics. Is this an attempt to stay out of the spotlight so he can continue to smoke grass or has pot already made him a lazy stoner? The guy was making millions for something he did for two weeks, and I am sure the work to get to that point was gruelling, however, if he kept himself clean he could of made millions for the rest of his life. Now the only way to recover from this epic blunder would be to get back into the pool and do it all over again. Blowing off the olympics to blow smoke would be an even worse decision than the one he already made. And after trying to figure out how many pitches C.C. Sabathia has to make to earn my yearly salary today on ESPN, I think getting wet is the best decision for Mike. By the way the number of pitches is .53 of a strikeout, or his first two pitches this season.
Now for the weekend. This weekend was not as eventful as last, but that will happen when you decide to leave the bars packed with chics for the bars packed full with dudes from wall to wall. I would swear they were nothing but gay bars, but I know they weren't because there was no room to dance. There wasn't even any room to do my 2-point conversion celebration dance. Nothing worse than sardine packed bar with nothing but straight dudes who can't even get a drink. From now on I am listing to Kevin. The highlight to my weekend was strapping on the sneakers and playing some bball. Wace was the Reggie Miller of the game, you know how that is, lights out from behind the arc but when within inches of the hoop...nothing. I swear he went 16-20 from the "men's" 3-point line. Personally I don't think moving the line back a foot does anything, especially when you know the hoop is big enough to fit two balls at once. But I live 5 feet behind the line so it might affect people differently than me. Well hopefully this week flys by so I can make up for this wretched weekend. Until then...
Now for the weekend. This weekend was not as eventful as last, but that will happen when you decide to leave the bars packed with chics for the bars packed full with dudes from wall to wall. I would swear they were nothing but gay bars, but I know they weren't because there was no room to dance. There wasn't even any room to do my 2-point conversion celebration dance. Nothing worse than sardine packed bar with nothing but straight dudes who can't even get a drink. From now on I am listing to Kevin. The highlight to my weekend was strapping on the sneakers and playing some bball. Wace was the Reggie Miller of the game, you know how that is, lights out from behind the arc but when within inches of the hoop...nothing. I swear he went 16-20 from the "men's" 3-point line. Personally I don't think moving the line back a foot does anything, especially when you know the hoop is big enough to fit two balls at once. But I live 5 feet behind the line so it might affect people differently than me. Well hopefully this week flys by so I can make up for this wretched weekend. Until then...
Thursday, February 5, 2009
The Red Eye Shines On Me
Dear Diary:
So I go to pick up the sticks tonight and when I switch on my box it starts blinking red at me. This really pisses me off b/c I haven't been playing a lot, if at all, lately due to my 6 days a week work and 2 grad classes schedule. I take good care of my shit too and it decides to take a crap on my chest. If you don't use it you lose it must hold true here. I was treating it like a paper weight and low and behold it becomes one. Now I bought a warranty when I purchased the thing, and that was before the news came out of Microsoft selling bricks and gave their warranty plan extension. I don't care which one I use I just want the quickest solution to rectify my problem. If you have any insights on what to do leave a comment. I always thought the only red eye I would have to see in my life is that of Peetey's, but he likes to sneak around and get you when you least expect it. So once my box gets fixed and off the rag, hopefully I will not of lost my stick speed and back to running it like the nerd I am.
So I go to pick up the sticks tonight and when I switch on my box it starts blinking red at me. This really pisses me off b/c I haven't been playing a lot, if at all, lately due to my 6 days a week work and 2 grad classes schedule. I take good care of my shit too and it decides to take a crap on my chest. If you don't use it you lose it must hold true here. I was treating it like a paper weight and low and behold it becomes one. Now I bought a warranty when I purchased the thing, and that was before the news came out of Microsoft selling bricks and gave their warranty plan extension. I don't care which one I use I just want the quickest solution to rectify my problem. If you have any insights on what to do leave a comment. I always thought the only red eye I would have to see in my life is that of Peetey's, but he likes to sneak around and get you when you least expect it. So once my box gets fixed and off the rag, hopefully I will not of lost my stick speed and back to running it like the nerd I am.
Monday, February 2, 2009
Blown calls all weekend long
Welcome everyone, lets get this started.
Dear Diary:
I want to start out by talking about my Sat. night. The boys and I head down to Mil-town for the Bucks game and some potential whaling after. The game was excellent because Charlie, Bell and V, were lighting it up against a sorry looking Hawks team. The Bucks were able to put up a free McCafe, thats a win with over a 100, without the likes of Michael Redd. Who tears knee ligaments anyway, what happened to throwing some dirt on it and getting back in there for the love of the game. You know that if he didn't get paid unless he is playing he would brace that thing and get back on the court to earn that paycheck. The game ended up being close in the score even tho the Bucks dominated all game, mostly due to some horrible calls by the refs. Refs are turning into athletes, b/c they know if they blow a call they will end up on sportscenter. Speaking of blowing calls, how about that Superbowl, if you didn't think that fumble by Kurt Warner needed to be reviewed, then you are a) a steelers fan or b) blind. Enough ranting, time to get to the fun stuff, Whaling. If you don't know what it is then go now and never come back b/c this blog probably isn't for you. My boy Dierks starts off the night strong right off the bat by reeling in a dolphin. You can't call her a whale due to the lack of blubber but the challenge did get serious from then on out. Later on in the night everyone else hasn't even stepped on the court yet with Dierks, but the game was about to change due to rain delay. It was raining hotties left and right. Maybe I should have mentioned this, but we decided to go whaling b/c our game has been like Redd's will be for the rest of the year, on the sideline. Suddenly everyone dusts off the cleats and onto the field. Everything is working, from pick up lines to can I buy you a drank. Game is being spread all over the bar. I see my boy Wace doing work and chics friend is all alone, so I step in to prevent girl leaving b/c her friend is all alone. Nothing worse then getting a repor going with a chic and her friend makes her bail b/c she isn't getting any action. Sorry Dierks. Wace and I are getting it going and before you know it, bar time. So Wace gets chics number to contact later and messes up huge by closing the phone before storing the number. Facebook even failed to save him from the blunder. What a blown call Wace. Well for poppin my cherry on this blog I would have to say it went well but I need to work on the climax. Until next weekend I guess...
Oh yeah, my boy Kevin won the contest by coming out of nowhere and wrangling a killer whale, I guess no one told him about the hold to a later date or he drank her hot...I hope
Dear Diary:
I want to start out by talking about my Sat. night. The boys and I head down to Mil-town for the Bucks game and some potential whaling after. The game was excellent because Charlie, Bell and V, were lighting it up against a sorry looking Hawks team. The Bucks were able to put up a free McCafe, thats a win with over a 100, without the likes of Michael Redd. Who tears knee ligaments anyway, what happened to throwing some dirt on it and getting back in there for the love of the game. You know that if he didn't get paid unless he is playing he would brace that thing and get back on the court to earn that paycheck. The game ended up being close in the score even tho the Bucks dominated all game, mostly due to some horrible calls by the refs. Refs are turning into athletes, b/c they know if they blow a call they will end up on sportscenter. Speaking of blowing calls, how about that Superbowl, if you didn't think that fumble by Kurt Warner needed to be reviewed, then you are a) a steelers fan or b) blind. Enough ranting, time to get to the fun stuff, Whaling. If you don't know what it is then go now and never come back b/c this blog probably isn't for you. My boy Dierks starts off the night strong right off the bat by reeling in a dolphin. You can't call her a whale due to the lack of blubber but the challenge did get serious from then on out. Later on in the night everyone else hasn't even stepped on the court yet with Dierks, but the game was about to change due to rain delay. It was raining hotties left and right. Maybe I should have mentioned this, but we decided to go whaling b/c our game has been like Redd's will be for the rest of the year, on the sideline. Suddenly everyone dusts off the cleats and onto the field. Everything is working, from pick up lines to can I buy you a drank. Game is being spread all over the bar. I see my boy Wace doing work and chics friend is all alone, so I step in to prevent girl leaving b/c her friend is all alone. Nothing worse then getting a repor going with a chic and her friend makes her bail b/c she isn't getting any action. Sorry Dierks. Wace and I are getting it going and before you know it, bar time. So Wace gets chics number to contact later and messes up huge by closing the phone before storing the number. Facebook even failed to save him from the blunder. What a blown call Wace. Well for poppin my cherry on this blog I would have to say it went well but I need to work on the climax. Until next weekend I guess...
Oh yeah, my boy Kevin won the contest by coming out of nowhere and wrangling a killer whale, I guess no one told him about the hold to a later date or he drank her hot...I hope
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